Inspiration / It's my life! / People / Psychology

Calming Mr. Hyde through breathing, writing, and self-talking

“Nobody is perfect. Not me, not my bosses, not my colleagues, not the people around me. Nobody is perfect. Not me, not my bosses, not my colleagues, not the people around me. Nobody is perfect. Not me, not my bosses, not my colleagues, not the people around me…”

You have just read a mantra I must always remind myself to say aloud or in my mind so that I can be more patient and tolerant.

I am a firm believer in self-soothing methods to let go of emotions bottled-up from another firm belief that bad feelings is better left unsaid. This belief is probably influenced by my Asian upbringing, where I view confrontations as dangerous and unpredictable. In some cases, it is healthy for both parties to speak their hearts out to clear up misunderstandings. But, in other cases such as in mishandled or one-sided confrontations where one party is more articulate than the other, it might intensify, not dissipate, bad feelings. Additional knowledge of each other’s true feelings might plant a bad seed that was never there before or it might even lead to more distrust, more fear and more harsh feelings of each other. That might seem a little paranoid, but it helps explain why if I can help it, I avoid emotional confrontations. After all, the centuries-old Japanese adage “Silence is golden” is evergreen for a reason.

Breathing deeply, writing, and self-talking to lower my expectations of myself and people help me calm the raging beast within me that pops out every so often.

That inner Mr. Hyde appeared today, when I became a tad annoyed that I am the go to person for almost everything so minor, things that could easily be done if everyone just do their part. In a mere nine hours, I had to co-ordinate an internal event (or else, it would not have happened as with all other earlier events), I had to call people to make sure they attend their own interview sessions (I found this totally ironic), and I still had to continue with data collection and analysis that I have been involved in for weeks. And, after all that, I did not even get a single whiff of sincere thank-yous. Does this not give me reasonable cause to feel overwhelmed?

In another world, a fantasy, the other braver and adventurous me will drop everything, and start yelling and kicking like a spoiled five-year-old brat. Fortunately, in this reality where I have never even been that wild as a child, in this world of adulthood, I bite the bullet, breathe, and repeat the mantra to let it all go. And, write, of course.

There. I already feel better after unloading it all here. Thank you, dear reader, for reading. I hope you have your own ways of controlling your Mr. Hyde, or best of all, I hope you have no Mr. Hyde at all.

For the rest of us, normal folks, every day is a trial to make this Mr. Hyde a tad smaller, smaller, and smaller. Until, it disappears to nothingness. Or, perhaps it becomes one with Dr. Jekyll. Depends on whatever you want to believe in.

*By the way, if you are the type of person who believes that self-talk is a symptom of psychosis (like this blogger), please read Annie Murphy Paul’s article in TIME. Positive self-talk is healthy and important for personal improvement.

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